When we left Jacob last week he was still on his way to Haran to go and live with his Uncle Laban….not really because he wants to…..but because he has too…as a way to try and save his own hide. Remember a few weeks ago we heard about how Jacob had put on animal skin, gone into Isaac’s tent and tricked his father into believing that he was his older brother Esau so he could receive his blessing. Well of course his brother Esau was pretty upset by that…after all Jacob had done it must have been the last straw for him and he voices his plans to kill Jacob…. and so Jacob aided by his mother runs for his life and heads to Haran the land of his mother’s family with the excuse that he is going to find a wife.



But as it turns out that is exactly what happens. When Jacob arrives in the land of Haran the first thing that happens to him there is that he is at the local watering hole and he sees Laban’s daughter Rachel coming to the well with her sheep. And it is pretty obvious that right away Jacob is very interested in Rachel. (I picture one of those movie scenes with Rachel walking in slow motion through the grass…her hair blowing in the wind... as the emotional music plays in the background and Jacob gets that I’m in love look on his face and trips over himself to hurry and get Rachel some water.)



So it’s no surprise that after he has been working there for about a month and Laban says to him that even though he is family he should still receive something for the work he is doing…. Jacob says that the only thing he wants is to marry Rachel… and in return he will work 7 years for Laban….which he says (cue the emotional movie music) seemed like only a few days for him because he was so in love with her.



So after his seven years of work are finally over the time has come for their wedding and Laban throws a big shindig for the event…well it must have been some kind of party because when Jacob wakes up the next morning…he finds out that he just spent the night with Rachel’s older sister Leah and not with Rachel herself….which just so you know isn’t a good thing to have happen on your wedding night no matter what time period or culture you live in….but we hear in our story this happens because Laban had deceived Jacob and had snuck Leah unto his tent sometime that night before without Jacob realizing what was going on.



When Jacob realizes what has happened he is furious with Laban…he wonders how he could do this to him….he wanted Rachel…he was expecting Rachel… and he couldn’t believe that Laban who was family even… would stoop so low as to deceive him this way…that he would trick him by making him believe he was with one sibling when it was really her older sister.



But wait a second….does anybody else catch the irony here of Jacob being so upset by this situation? Doesn’t this all sound vaguely familiar? Wasn’t the reason that Jacob was in Laban’s house in the first place because he had gotten in trouble for doing something very similar back where he was from? Had he not deceived his own father by pulling the sibling switch-a-roo trick in order to steal Esau’s blessing? And now it seems like what goes around has come back around.



Now don’t get me wrong it’s understandable that Jacob is so upset and Laban does eventually kind of make it right… allowing Jacob to marry Rachel after he gets 7 more years out of him.



But what is so crazy about all of this is how Jacob really expected to be treated fairly… to not be deceived….and was genuinely upset by what had happened to him….and yet it is obvious from his own words and actions that we read about in Genesis… that he wasn’t willing to treat others the same way he expected to be treated. He is holding others to standards that he isn’t really interested in holding himself to.



And we see right here in Jacob one of the great human weaknesses that we all struggle with. The fact that so often we expect others to say and do things that we ourselves aren’t able or maybe willing to say or do. And really when you think about it there are few things that can torpedo our relationships with others quicker than this double standard.



Nothing erodes trust and confidence faster than when we say one thing and do another….or when we expect someone to do something but then we do something completely different…basically when we are hypocrites and we tend to worry more about how things work out for us than having the integrity to make sure we are consistent.



And yet it’s scary how often we see this happening in our day to day lives isn’t it? How often what people expect for themselves and what they expect from others don’t really match up. How often people live out the saying, “Do as I say not as I do.”



And we see this in our relationships when we want forgiveness and unconditional love from others and yet are so slow to give it out ourselves….or when we tell someone that we want them to be completely honest with us….to trust us… even when we are holding things back from them…and stretching the truth to our advantage.



One place that is a perfect example of this is how we are with our kids sometimes. As parents or grandparents or even just as adults we ask our kids not to do some habit or behavior…. or we ask them not to use certain words or talk in certain ways…but then we turn around and do it…and then we act all surprised and upset when they do the same thing we just did. Whatever we may think that makes an impression on our kids.



It reminds me of that old drug awareness commercial from when I was growing up when the dad comes in the room with the kids drugs and he says to him over and over “where do you learn to do this”….and finally the kids yells back…”from you…I learned it by watching you.” I know it was acting but it was good acting because I will never forget the look on the dad’s face despite his 80’s glasses and his ridiculously large mustache. That commercial was a powerful reminder that whatever we do or say in front of our kids…we can pretty much expect that they are going to say it and do it too and so we have to be careful to model the behavior and use the words that we want them to use…I am learning this very quickly from my little 2 year old parrot named Isaac.



Really all of these examples are a reminder for us that there is a battle going on inside of us between knowing what the right thing to do is… and actually doing it ourselves. And its important to be aware of this because when things get messed up…when sin gets in the way and expectations and trust are broken….when relationships are damaged… what happens is that we try and protect ourselves by putting up walls and barriers (sometimes emotionally sometimes physically sometimes even spiritually) so that it doesn’t happen again. But what is so bad about that is that it makes it virtually impossible for us to live as the community that God wants us to live as and as the children of God we were created to be.







And so the question is how do we get free from these cycles of broken trust and expectations…of the human tendency to put ourselves first and expect more out of others than we are willing to do ourselves….to be served rather than to serve. Are we just stuck like this?



Well I think that if we go back to these stories about Jacob we can find that answer because there is more to these stories than just crazy family drama, deceit and broken expectations…these stories we have been hearing the last few weeks also remind us that when we feel off balance and struggle with our expectations not being met when we struggle with trusting and relying on others….throughout these stories….there is one person we see who can always be relied on and trusted….and that of course is God.



Throughout these stories God is continually faithful to Jacob and to the promises he has made him. Jacob is all over the place…but God is solid and steady….always there to pick him up…give him a new chance….and help him keep going.



And God is the same way in our life. He is constant. When things seem messed up for us…when we don’t know what to expect from anyone including ourselves we do know what to expect from God.



First of all we can expect him to be with us…since he created us God has never left our side even in our worst times…as Pastor Frank said last week he has climbed down the ladder in Christ to be with us forever. And second we can expect him to love us and forgive us no matter what we say or do



And it is important for us to know this about God because the way to have the relationships God wants for us…the way to free ourselves from these cycles of broken expectations and trust is through God himself and what he has done for us in Christ.



I want to try and say it as simply as I can. Because God has loved us unconditionally and forgiven us…and because we have been baptized into this love and forgiveness through Christ…the way to healthy and faithful relationships is wide open for us.



Don’t get me wrong....like Jacob we will continue to struggle at times to build these relationships and live as God expects us to live….we will expect one thing from others but do something completely different ourselves….but also like Jacob because we have been forgiven and loved…because we have such a faithful God….we have endless chances to continue down the path God wants us to be on…endless chances to fulfill his expectations for us. Knowing that the entire way he will be with us… leading us…guiding us and giving us what we need to live as his children and have the kind of relationships he wants us to have.



He wants that for us….and he gives that to us. And how comforting to know that we have a God who is constant…who is solid and steady and who we can expect to be everything he says he will be every day of our lives.







Amen